Programming Anti-Patterns: Releasing Cthulhu

Some code is elegant.  Some code is a quick fix hack.
Some code is maintainable.  Some code release Cthulhu.

These are just a few gems I have found over the past year or so…

 

Math is for the Weak Pattern

if(result == 1) {
    obj.foo(0);
}
else if(result == 2) {
    obj.foo(1);
}
else if(result == 3) {
    obj.foo(2);
}
else if(result == 4) {
    obj.foo(3);
}

Subtraction is a poor abstraction;

Scare the Next Guy Pattern

// ... Base DAO containing transaction logic for whole application ...
if(connection.isOpen()) {
   aSimple.MethodCall();

    // TODO:
}
// ... more complex TX logic ...

Because, what he doesn’t know … might be nothing … or might be something

Decoy Security Pattern

<pre>public Connection getNewConnection() {
    Long.Full.Package.Name.Connection c = new Long.Full.Package.Name.Connection();

    return new Long.Full.Package.Name.Connection();
}

No cups in this shell game, just database connections

Missing Father Pattern

try {
    foo.bar();
}
catch(Exception e) {
    throw e;
}

If dad is never around, you end up playing catch with yourself

All codes have been modified and rewritten to protect the guilty.